Into the Light

Coming Out of the Shadow of Darkness Stepping Into the Light….

For the last 36 years, living in the shadows of darkness and despair was a normal day routine for me. It wasn’t until I personally started participating in the Ro-Hun process, did I learn there is a better way to live. The processes felt brutal at the time, but necessary. During my training at Delphi University, I would get many opportunities for “partner meditation”, however, it wasn’t until I partnered up with my pal Joe, that I would have my life changing experience. I was ready but did not know it!! Here is my story:

My partner for meditation, Joe M., is a kind gentle man whom I was familiar with. We met at Delphi during our first class. Later, Joe would write me and tell me that he had some fear with partnering up with me, concerned that I would be hard to be with as I had the tendency to drain people with my drama and victim role. He prayed to be open and accepting, I was ready for a change and the miracle happened for both of us.

Joe and I went on our first journey together and met a powerful Angel. This Angel showed us the love we have in our hearts. I was given a huge heart to hold and make my own and told, “This is yours, remember it always”. We could see a beautiful, iridescent rainbow bridging our two hearts together and I could feel the awesomeness of the love flowing through every charka and cell of my being. The Angel said to me, and I repeated this out loud several times, “That which you think you perceive is not what you truly see.” We were not sure what that meant, as everything around us was beautiful. We agreed it was a message to digest so we made a note of it. At the end of the meditation, we were shown two forest paths and Joe felt we were to take, “the one less traveled” and I agreed. Later we discovered that the “road traveled” was the road that I have traveled lifetimes, the “one less traveled” was the road to new journeys, light and love.

The next day, we found our place and the Angel showed us the forest. We were given backpacks and I took my crystal wand of light to protect me. Joe didn’t feel like he needed one, but I insisted he wear it. We both felt an Angel present that was shining the way for us. The Angel went first and Joe went next!! I followed reluctantly!! For me, the first thing I saw was some snakes that felt ok, meaning I could duck them and walk on, but then morphed to red-eyed snakes. I felt fear!! I used my wand of light for protection. One began to talk and said, “What you perceive is not what you truly see!!” and repeated this several times. I would say it out loud and Joe would repeat it back. We made a note of it, as we could not process the meaning, at the moment, but remembered it was the same message the Angel said the day before. I continued with Joe and the Angel through the forest. We then came to the end of the forest, and Joe felt we were to go ahead, however, felt my reluctance. I was reluctant for the simple fact that it was dark on the other side and the Light Angel told us, “I will not be going further, the rest of the journey is yours, you are ready”. I would have gone forward. I did not want to take away from Joe’s experience because of my fear, however, Joe said, “They are telling me we need to stop here”. This was the first time that I was able to walk through darkness of my shadow (the snakes) and proceed forward.

During our discussion afterwards, Joe felt the end of the forest represented the threshold of my darkness, that we were crossing the threshold of darkness, not walking into it. He also related that the backpacks represented all the “junk” I was carrying lifetimes: the trickster, darkness, illness, depression and sadness, drama, victim, etc. These were the “tools” I used to survive. Remember Joe wondered why he was carrying a backpack? We laugh now because he was carrying it for me!! I needed two to carry all the “junk” I had. Joe also wondered why he wasn’t given a wand of light. He relates, “It dawned on me that the reason the angel gave Jennifer a light and not me, was because she was walking through her darkness and shadows”. Joe already knew his Light.

Our next meditation was the most interesting. We met with the great Angel again, and we were ready to go back into the forest. This time, Joe said, “You have walked through your darkness and fears; you don’t need the backpacks anymore”. I agreed, but went back for my wand of light. Joe gently said to me, “Jennifer, they are telling me to tell you, ‘You no longer need the wand of Light, for you are the Light and you will Light the way’”. I agreed and we looked into the forest before entering. What an amazing picture to see.

The first thing I saw was the fullness of the trees. The second thing I saw as we entered the forest was a snake slithering around the tree above me. I was confronted with my fear once more but felt my Light. The snake represented the symbol of fear for me. The snake spoke to me and said, “I am Wisdom-What you perceive is not what you truly see-unless it is in the Light- of the Light- for therein lies the truth”. I would repeat this like a mantra a number of times. Joe would repeat it several times himself. We both said, “oh my gosh, that is the message!! We finally got it. Everything that you think you perceive is not necessarily truth especially when you place your own fears, judgments and interpretation on it. Only when you see it with Love, which is truth, are you truly seeing its essence, the truth. The snake’s eyes changed color, and the next thing I saw was a dolphin swimming in the forest. We walked further into the forest, and it opened up to “Candy Land” like in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. We rejoiced in the beauty and playfulness, and for the first time, I only saw the Light and wonderful things around me. No darkness, no shadows, no thoughts of despair or doom, only Love, Light and Healing! I had finally stepped into the Light of my soul. I stood there and enveloped the Love and wonderment of it all; creating the intention that I will be of my Light and darkness (if not of fear) is a way to see the light, for out of darkness comes Light.

I continue to visit “Candy Land” whenever I need a reminder of the beauty that is within me. Joe called me up the week after class and said, “I had a vision- the song from Shaina Noll, ‘Return Again’ was playing in my head and I think that is where we went to ‘The Land of Your Soul’”. That resonated with me and I am happy to say that even 6+ weeks out of that class, I am still living in my Light, and it is wonderful! I am finally free!!